Sometimes

Sometimes life smacks you like a ton of bricks and you don't know where to go next. Being in the 'flow of life' as I like to call it, when the days of insanity set in, they come full force for me. Almost as if I have missed out on the other side of the duality for so long that I need to experience it, and then some.

Yesterday morning was a horrendous experience, I awoke out of bed literally full of angish in my body. Knowing this is 'not me' I fluffed it off and headed to the bathroom. Still bound by the gaze of sleepy eyes, I go to reach for my tooth brush and low and behold the tooth paste is in front of it and tumbles into the toilet bowl below. I yell at myself (also unusual), followed by an instant correction to my negative thoughts, and went about my morning. I forgot to mention, this is all taking place at 4:30am, evidently tjis is where my dedication to Cross fit comes it!
I follow thorugh with my morning, dropping pans, stubbing my toe and asking God "What is going on here!! Why am I surrounded by and incognizant vortex of negative energy." All these trivial accidents seem very insignificant in the scheme of life, but when you have learned to perfect the beauty of your own universe and live soley thorugh love, these mundane instances can add up. Especially when this horrendous morning has yet to fully take off.

So, I proceed to get into my car and drive to Cross fit, now that I have moved and am further away I was in a rush to get off on time. As I am entering the parking lot, I stop my car "shit!" I don't start work till 9 not 8...I had completely forgot that the time changed, I could have slept for another hour! Now that really ticked me off because I was beyond exhausted. Contemplating on going home and using that hour to my advantage, I forced myself to go inside, especially since I was already in the parking lot! I protested on the workout for the first time and insistantly refused to do the 50 pullups in between my incomprehensible amount of burpees and deadlifts at my body weight. (Ya, it was hell). I swaped the pull ups for sit ups, completed my torturous workout and proceeded to complete the rest of my errands.

I next entered my fathers place to hopefully pick up my cowgirl hat!! Last night I was suppose to go to my sisters in Kitchener to celebrate her birthday at a country bar, and of course the hat was no where to be found. Instead I picked up my pile of bills....Lovely....

Upon driving home, hellooo traffic jam. Not just a little one, like a 3 car pile up on a side street. Craving for a 15minute nap before work, I was jipped of relaxation and sent into high gear mode upon entering my home. Why, oh why did I open my bills in the morning!!! Oh I know, to have a mental break down! So not only was the owing of money an issue...but...I got my liscence suspended! Yes, Miss Britney who is able to fight off all tickets gets her liscence suspended. And here came the tears. Oh ya, break down time. It's been long over due since I've had a good cry, and it felt good, real good. Although not as enjoyable as it should have been because I was too concerned as to how red and poofy my face would get before I saw my 7 clients lined up for the day! I shook off the tears, gained composure and jumped in the shower just in time for the shower curtain to fall on my head!!!! So, I sat in a wave of melencholic dread and allowed the water to wash away my sorrow. I was still asking the questions as to why all this was happening to me. All I could hear was, "You need to take care of yourself."

Most people would look at this as a 'bad day.' Yes this was a bad day, but Britney doesn't have bad days so I needed to figure out why this was happening. In attending a group meditation the prior evening, I must have brought up some healing that needed to be done within myself. I have helped enough people, that I needed to turn that healing onto me. So I knew in that instant that I had to tell my sister I couldn't come for her drunk fest, and that what I needed was some alone time. She completely understood bc she is a beautiful soul, and we schedule an alone dat enext week to celebrate. So perfect!

What a good decision this was!

I released through belief work, deep meditations with questioning, and endured a much needed chakra cleansing while in a blissful bubble bath. I try to take at least 1 day per week as ME time, but since I have been in the process of moving this ME time has resorted to computer time, or fix house time, or structuring clients time, but not ME time. So I was able to finally reconnect with my being.

I woke up this morning freshly enlightened. The sun was shining, my smile was on and I felt and feel fantastic in every way. I even went to pay off my ticket and the woman said that I previously paid the small fine, not the set fine so I had tried to pay it but made a silly mistake. I will go down town next week and fight the $150 bucks and my suspended liscence... and you bet I will win!
Releasing and connecting is all that is needed to eliminate negative energies from your body. Its unfortunate that most people don't know the techniques to do so. All you have to do is Welcome the feelings you are having in the moment and allow it to be there. Ask your self with your eyes closed: "Could I let this feeling go?" Yes. "Would you let this feeling go?" Yes. "When?" NOW! This simple releasing technique will allow you to bring these negative emotions into your body, so that they can be released immediately instead of being stored there for years and years, adding more and more negative emotions until you hit a mid life crisis or turn numb. Try it. Even though it sounds too easy to be true, it is true, and its powerful. You will transcend yourself to a new level of peace and be able to walk this world through loving divine eyes of your higher self. Enjoy your own transformation and growth! Release those negative emotions that are holding you back! Connect with yourself again, you will thank yourself for it. I sure did.